10 Thoughts Men and Women Have During Sex
Although sex should be an intimate and enjoyable activity, it doesn’t always go as smoothly as planned. A huge part of performance and satisfaction is based on psychological factors rather than physical, meaning even the most successful Casanova can be held back by thoughts and fixation. Awkward or unrelated ideas can surface during the best sex as well. Satisfying and working with a partner means understanding how they think as well, through the good and the bad, and how it all comes together in the bedroom. Although mind reading isn’t possible, there are some common thoughts that most people will find themselves thinking at one point or another. Included are shared worries, self-consciousness, and hopefully at least some real enjoyment.
1- Has my partner reached orgasm, should I stop or keep going, and how do we tie this up?
What men think during sex differs some from what goes on in the minds of women. One point of confusion can happen during orgasm. While men go through more motions and have a recovery period, women can often continue through. Knowing whether or not their partner has reached orgasm, whether or not to keep going when to end it- there’s a lot to think about. That’s why communication and asking questions is so helpful. It’s always better to ask than assume when it comes to something like pleasing and understanding a partner. Sometimes women have trouble reaching orgasm unless specific things are done, and they may think that they are taking too long or that the man is going too quickly. Men can also have trouble with reaching climax, especially if there are underlying causes to their performance issues.
2- Can my partner or I keep an erection?
In a perfect world, sex would go great, and everyone involved would reach a climax in an ideal amount of time. In the real world, things change. Sometimes it takes longer or shorter, sometimes orgasm is not achieved at all. Obsessing over keeping an erection can be a recurring thought. Women may think that it is due to a lack of attraction, but erectile dysfunction can be a real issue in the bedroom for both the person suffering from it and their partner. It can also be a fluke or due to alcohol and other factors, but erectile dysfunction is relatively common in men of many ages. Trouble achieving and keeping an erection are the most common symptoms, but sexual desire itself can also be impacted. Neurological issues, hormones, stress, nerves, muscles, the vascular system- erectile dysfunction has many potential components. Physical causes include heart disease, high blood pressure or cholesterol, injuries, and specific medication or substance usage. Depression, anxiety, and stress are common psychological causes.
#3- Am I good enough? Is my partner attracted to me?
Such an intimate act demands close contact, but most people are not entirely comfortable in their birthday suit or even in clothing. Women may feel scrutinized, that their lingerie (if any) isn’t right, that they are too heavy or too thin. Men can think that they aren’t fit enough to have stamina, that they can be more muscular or lose weight, or that they aren’t what a woman wants. If two people are naked together during sex, it is likely they appreciate one another. Sharing the experience and each other’s bodies requires this. Fitness can help with confidence and performance, but it is important to remember that one is appreciated even if they do not value themselves.
#4- Is my sex drive compatible with my partner’s?
Low testosterone may influence sex and physical condition. This hormone is present in both men and women, although men rely on it more as it is their primary sexual hormone. In women, low testosterone can make them feel that they do not have the drive to match their partners. Men may think they aren’t masculine enough or that they are failing at something important. The best testosterone boosters may not permanently or significantly increase testosterone, but there are plenty available to try. Ingredients like fenugreek, magnesium, zinc, and longjack show some ability to increase testosterone. For men with normal levels of testosterone, these supplements won’t do much. For those suffering from low levels, they may help bring hormones back to a standard point. It is essential to visit a doctor to find out if hormone levels are actually out of a normal range. Women with suspected low testosterone should also see a doctor. Both sexes rely somewhat on this hormone for other functions besides sex; fertility, blood cell production, and body mass distribution are just some examples.
#5- What about work? What about that text I just got?
Sex can also be impacted by just about anything. Both sexes are likely to think about their phones if they get a notification, everyone gets songs stuck in their heads and everyone panics over what is the right thing to do next. Reducing distractions and setting the mood can really help with these issues. Keeping phones outside of the room or keeping them off, talking and having appropriate background noise can keep heads in the game, and always communicating and reading one another will help guide actions. If everything seems to get in the way, it is okay to set times for sex to happen distraction-free. Work, thinking about work, worrying about bills, even thinking about nothing- it is easy for life to get in the way.
#6- Is my partner thinking about someone else? Does this mean they wish I were someone else?
Thinking about other people, whether past partners (or total strangers) or celebrities, is more common than most would like to think. It is not usually malicious and instead just a result of a wandering mind or curiosity. Most people will keep this to themselves, but it may come out one way or another. Keep in mind that a partner who shares this info is likely embarrassed and it does not mean they are cheating or wanting someone else. Name slip-ups also happen from time to time, and it does not mean a partner is pretending they are with someone else.
#7- Does my partner notice my flaws?
Comparing ourselves to these imaginary partners will only lend negative results. Remember that everyone is always thinking about how they are perceived and that what may be a little thing for one can be a massive deal for another.
#8- Is this romantic enough?
There are so many problems that can come up in the bedroom, but there are also plenty of ways to potentially significantly improve the experience for everyone. It is very common for both men and women to worry about setting the mood or getting the right message across.
Classics like candles, body toppings and safe foods, new games, and different positions are ways to spice it up in the bedroom. Various positions, in particular, can add new sensations, increase intimacy, and make orgasm easier for all involved. Becoming a master of a specific position can require some practice or even visits to the gym.
#9- Are we being boring? What can we try?
Thinking that a position seems impossible is common, but a bit of planning and dedication will help. Luckily, the exercises to boost testosterone can also increase general bedroom performance; it’s two birds with one stone. Squats, deadlifts, bench presses, rowing, pull-ups, and pushups are exercises that can boost testosterone, and that also mimic motions during intercourse. A strong core is especially important.
#10- Am I performing well enough? How can I enjoy this more?
Good sex means being involved, and not being critical of how one performs. Acting as a spectator during intercourse is distracting in itself, but it can also ruin the experience. Thinking of how things feel rather than what to do or how well things are being done should be a priority. Becoming mindful, in general, requires the acknowledgment and active dismissal of distracting or negative thoughts. This practice is beneficial in all areas of a life well outside of the bedroom. Avoid judging these thoughts and just let them go. The mind will think what it will, but active involvement will help guide thoughts in a way that is most appropriate for the situation at hand.
Trying different things is part of a healthy sex life. Keep in mind that what helps the bedroom experience is also likely to help in other areas, such as higher testosterone meaning more energy and mindful thinking working in every situation. If supplements are something that is appealing, careful research and consideration are essential. Nugenix is the supplement that may help in all areas related to free testosterone. Like with other supplements, fenugreek is an ingredient in Nugenix. It may also help with performance during exercise, meaning the impact the gym has on sex can be multiplied.
Every couple and casual partnership experience sex differently, and what is healthy or right will be different from one to the next. Even established relationships will see evolution in the bedroom over time, and as new ideas and factors are considered. Remember that everyone has the same worries, obsessions, fixations, and concerns during sex for the most part. Also, remember that sex does not have to be perfect to be good, and that orgasm should be seen as a bonus and not a requirement. Understanding what goes on in mind and with the body of a partner is essential to finding the right balance in the bedroom. It takes time and effort both in bed and out, like with exercise in the gym or thinking techniques throughout the day. With practice comes to pleasure and satisfaction.
by Shawn Clark